The Musician - Timing is Everything ❤
During a time when you are on a journey of self-discovery, through your teen years - you meet some of the most influential people you'll ever know in high school. Keeping in touch into adulthood is another story.
The Dreamer
The Creator
The Illusionist
The Educator
The Builder
The Runner
The Chaser
The Bold
The Meek
The Wise
The Fearful
The Encouraging
The list goes on
Britt met The Musician, which touches on many of these noted above.
They were young and part of the same free spirit group, yet fluttered to other groups and back again. They laughed and grew together from 13 years old to the present.
Britt's favorite memory of The Musician: Between classes during one of their more mature than high school conversations in the middle of the hallway, The Musician picked Britt up and spun her so fast around in a circle. Britt felt the need to tuck her tall booty-kicking boots and shortish legs in so she didn't peg or kick any bystanders on accident. The two of them laughed. It was a magical moment Britt would hold on to for decades. He made her feel seen, cared for (he didn't let her go), and free to feel the feels in that very moment. It was a gift.
Their senior year, Britt was experiencing The Photographer and his trust issues (read that part of the adventure here). That's when The Musician spoke words of wisdom that fateful day in the cafeteria "Don't be a spare tire."
Yep, it was the wisest advice, and again over 20 years later rings through her mind when setting boundaries with folks. It applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones.
High school was one of the toughest experiences for them both. Britt and The Musician hadn't been popular or overly unliked. Britt and The Musician hadn't been the smartest or sportiest. They were just them. The sense of authenticity was a sweet but refreshing understanding.
Yet, the two never dated. Folks had mentioned they should, but Britt wasn't ever in the frame of mind to date until that fateful year she dated The Photographer and was burnt. Then she pulled back and didn't want to date for a bit. On the flip side, The Musician was desired by ladies of all flavors and caliber. The Musician was in the high school dance court, not to mention scoring the lead role in the plays. During their senior year, he performed the class song at commencements. All of it was a splendid feeling for Britt. She was so proud of her friend.
One of the trinkets Britt still has is a compilation of typed words of wisdom by The Musician. Britt gave him a small toolbox of quotes on 3x5 cards in return.
The Musician accompanied Britt to a work holiday party. It was full of good food, laughter, and friends. The most memorable moment of the night was the dancing. He and she danced until they couldn't dance anymore. A swing dancing song came on, and the two took to the floor without any hesitation. They'd not danced swing before this night together. They beamed, twirled, and dipped like they knew what they were doin'. Upon exiting the floor, an older classy gal asked if they had taken lessons. Both smiled and politely said, "No." She just smiled up at them from her dining table and said they had chemistry. That's just it. They did.
There are many more moments over the years they lived beside one another and enjoyed very much.
After high school, they hung out a whole lot more with a core group of friends that included The Sailor.
The Sailor and The Musician were indeed dear friends. At the pinnacle of the small co-ed group, there were three amigos. All their friends were taking different life paths. Many were exploring college. A few were working full-time and starting businesses. Others were setting up plans to flee their hometown for different hearts' desires.
It was then that The Musician leaving a gathering at a pals house, confessed his feelings for Britt. Only the second time in her life a male other than her father expressed this love. Endearingly. It was well received and heard, sincerely. Her heart was broken and torn. Her mind panicked with how she should reply. There was so much to be said but wasn't.
Timing is everything.
Britt, at the time The Musician declared his love for Britt, was dating The Sailor and was unable to respond with a proper heartfelt response. Britt, to this day, looks back on that moment with so much confusion, remorse, care, and wonder. "What ifs" float through her mind like fairies in Pixie Hollow. Some thoughts stop to look at her while others glide fleetingly by, even today.
At that moment, Britt had tough choices to make. Loyalty and commitment were convictions that never wavered. She always leads by treating others how she desires to be treated.
Therefore she responded with, "Her heart wasn't available to give away. It was in someone else's hands".
The pain in The Musician's eyes tore her to the core inside. There was so much she felt on her way home. The conversation of him asking her not to tell The Sailor, their dear friend, about their moment. How could she not? Would she want to know if her friend confessed their love to The Sailor? Yes. Yes, she would.
At that moment and time, Britt had been in a very tough situation. She was asked to betray her character or be honest and upfront with who had her heart at that moment. It was one of the most difficult decisions she had ever had to make.
The Sailor and The Musician's friendship changed that day forever. For that, Britt was brokenhearted and felt terrible about it all. Regret wasn't an option for her but learning from what had happened was the point of this pivotal moment in time. Family and friends were close; it only scared her that much more.
Fast forward a year later:
~ The Sailor went sailing.
~ The Musician moved away and into other relationships.
~ Leaving Britt holding the pieces of her heart in her hands. On both counts.
For years, The Musician dated, and Britt carried on kissing frogs into her twenties and thirties. There were very few moments Britt and The Musician had been single in the same moments, and their paths crossed.
There was a time when Britt mentally visited that night and confronted it via writing to The Musician. The response was heavy and painful in return. It left her thinking, did it not mean anything and only a fleeting love confession? She swiped her eyes dry, feeling foolish for the moment, raised her chin, and tore the rearview mirror off. She moves forward into future moments and reminds herself the world is large and "The Musician will not be the last man you love.". (Altered movie quote from Somebody Like You)
It was this lesson she learned, don't give up on love, yourself, and who YOU want to be. Things may not work out but, in the end, if the timing isn't right? It is not meant to be. Guess what? That's okay.
Society, films, music, and books desire you to "Say Anything" to end things. Run after him/her. Make a big statement to win them. You hold on to something you never had.
When in reality, love is just an evolutionary event over time.
Most importantly? Timing is everything.
The Musician is at a crossroads and in love once again; lucky him.
Britt? She's very content and loving life right where she's at; lucky her.
Go. Love and be loved. Each moment is fleeting. Just enjoy as those come.
